It's Sunday morning. I'm hungry. The kitchen cupboards are too far away. I scour the desk to see what there is: cards, files, bottle of water, more cards piles and some random indie DVD I'll watch later this week. Score: gross baggie of random old non-sport packs that arrived earlier in the week - old non-sport packs with gum. Let's reach in and see who the winner is.
1974 Fleer Crazy Covers...
...with a 34-year-old stick of gum! Prepare to be amazed. Turn away if you're easily disgusted (or have a Sunday hangover.)
I don't know much about this set. A quick Google search turned up that the set comes from the mid-1970s and is Fleer's take on Wacky Packages. It's a sticker set. There's 30 in the set plus a puzzle.
Here's the back of the pack:
I peel the wax panels back carefully and reveal (second warning - look away now if you're going to puke on your keyboard):
Breakfast is served. Actually, there's no chance I'm eating that nasty stick of whatever it is. It's sort brownish pink with spots I can only assume are moldy bits. It's stuck on good to the sticker so it looks like I'll be making a sacrifice to the old school pack gods.
After much pulling and tearing the gum has been removed:
Oh, well. Let's take a closer look at these satirical stickers.
This is the destroyed sticker that's been wrecked by the gum. They're unnumbered. I'm guessing this is an ode to "Sport" and the Battle of the Sexes match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs. Although a little worse for wear, it'll be filed away in the vaults for reference materials.
Expire, a take on "Esquire". Looks more like a "New Yorker" cartoon that doesn't make sense.
Finally, it's an honest to goodness card. Of what? I'll let you decide.
It's obviously a puzzle piece. I'm guessing it's probably Fleer's take on Alfred E. Newman of "Mad" fame. On the back is the checklist:
And there you have it. One Old-School random pack. I may not have eaten anything this morning, but after seeing (and manhandling) that thing that used to be a stick of gum, my appetite is gone.