Here's a conversation of me going to the bank to get a loan for $1.62 million:
Banker: So, $1.62 million. That's a good chunk of change.
Me: Yes, sir.
Banker: And what do you need it for?
Me: A baseball card, sir.
Banker: Sorry for spitting my coffee all over you.
Me: No worries. You missed my eyes. It's the baseball card.
Banker: You mean that card with Michael Jordan taking batting practice is worth over a million now. I've got two of 'em somewhere in my basement. Maybe I should dig them out.
Me: No, sir. The T206 Honus Wagner. You see, legend has it Mr. Wagner didn't like smoking...
Banker: Save it, kid. You could buy four houses for that kind of money. If you're in a bind for some quick cash I know this person. I don't know her, but I know of her if you catch my drift. She offers fair rates for desperate folks like yourself. When we can't help you Jenny Bones can. But if you fall behind on your payments, her big-boned associate'll take a kneecap -- from your daughter's puppy.
Me: Eek.
Banker: So you want her number?
I doubt I'll ever own a Wagner. But one can dream.
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