A Tribute to Mom - The Top 5 Cardboard Moms

Mother's Day was two days ago and only now are you catching a post about moms on cardboard. This would be indicative of one or more of the following:

1. Life has taken over everything else.
2. I'm poring my spare time into a brand-spanking new site and need to convert and transfer another 1000-or-so pages of content.
3. I was too busy talking to my mom for the past couple of days.
4. I'm a slacker.
5. I believe that every day should be a day we all think especially highly of our mothers.

You decide. I'm going to countdown five of my favourite moms that I found digging through my collection. I'm probably missing a bunch, but here's a good start to get things rolling.

5. Sarah Connor - The Terminator franchise.
Let's see, she fought off killer robots from the future, got knocked up by her son's closest ally who technically wasn't born when he did the deed to conceive her and she can tote a mean machine gun. Ms. Connor was a little paranoid about the future, but I think she had a pretty good reason for it.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day Filmcardz Rare R5 (Artbox, 2003)

This card comes from Artbox's Terminator 2 Filmcardz series, perhaps my favorite Terminator set produced. The photos are printed sort of like oversized slides, giving them a unique look and feel. This particular card is a "Rare" insert. Linda Hamilton, who played Connor, also signed for the set.

4. Carmela Soprano - The Sopranos
Gold digger? Perhaps. She certainly must have known what she was getting into when she married Tony Soprano. But I'll let you in on a secret - The Sopranos was all about the familial structure of the Sopranos and Carmela was the driving force. The gangster stuff was cool and all, but I really dug the overriding themes of the series.

The Sopranos: Season One Le Belle Donne BD-1 (Inkworks, 2005)

Unfortunately Inkworks' set based on the show;s first season was a monumental flop. It hit shelves with a ton of hobby hype but within a couple of months prices were falling fast. I attribute it to the lack of big-time signers on the autograph checklist, but The Sopranos: Season One is seriously one gorgeous set. This particular card is from the Le Belle Donne insert set, a simple yet elegant take on the ladies of The Sopranos that resided outside of the Bing.

3. Missy - Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

So she's not really Bill's mom, but Missy is "Mom." Awkwardness ensues as Bill's best friend Ted fawns over the hot mama.

Bill and Ted's Most Atypical Movie Cards 27 (ProSet, 1991)

 Bill and Ted is one franchise that could easily be resurrected in the hobby, for at least one set. In 1991 ProSet combined both films into one bland set featuring lazy full-bleed photos and very short text on the back. But it's Missy.

2. Mama Fratelli - The Goonies

Growing up I wasn't sure if Mama Fratelli was played by a woman or someone in drag. I don't mean that disrespectfully. Rather, it was an awesome gimmick. Clearly, the late Anne Ramsey thrived taking on roles that required a tough-as-nails matriarch. Mama Fratelli wanted only the finer things in life for her boys. Presumably a single mom, all she desired was for the family to have what they deserved.

The Goonies 9 (Topps, 1985)

Topps' set based on The Goonies was standard stuff for them during the 80s. Cards and sticker with puzzles on the back. Such memories. The biggest chase element comes with a handful of stickers having variant puzzle backs. 

1. Carol Brady - The Brady Bunch

Is there really any competition? Probably not. Although let's debate for a small second whether or not Carol Brady really was the All-American mom pop culture has made her out to be. Yes, six kids is a handful. But Alice is the one looking after the house most of the time. And raising the kids? She passed the problems off to Mike more often than not. And it was Mike who threw the briefcase in court that made the scammer turn his head, thus getting poor Carol off the hook for a fender bender at the grocery store. Still, it's Carol freaking Brady.

TV's Coolest Classics Dream Girls D4 (Inkworks, 1998)

TV's Coolest Classics Memorable Moments M5 (Inkworks, 1998)

 Mrs. Brady appears in a couple of sets. There's the Topps set with the classic wood borders from back when the show was on the air. But a decade ago Inkworks came along with TV's Coolest Classics and gave the lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls a more modern spin. So what does that mean: holofoil sparkles with the Dream Girls inserts and corny embossing on the TV-inspired design of the Memorable Moments card.

I tried looking for moms in the sports section but they proved elusive to find. Anyone got any leads?

To all those moms out there, it's still Mother's Day around these parts. Thanks for making us who we are. And a special thanks to my mom who passed on my guinea pigs to a more deserving home but didn't take my cards out to the fire pit.

Almost as Great as the Truffle Shuffle

My unofficial collection of autographs from The Goonies grew this week with the addition of this:

Little Mikey Walsh is all grown up and getting his butt kicked on 24. That's Sean Astin, who didn't last long on the TV thriller. If I recall correctly, his character was pretty annoying too, even for someone who's supposed to be annoying.

Artbox's note also gives this card the distinction of having the goofiest authenticity message I have on a card:

 

Astin is no stranger to signing cardboard having appeared in multiple Lord of the Rings sets as well as Donruss' cross-brand Fans of the Game. This particular card comes from Artbox's 24: Season Five set. The last couple of 24 sets flopped despite having lots of cool autographs and prop cards. It's too bad because Artbox did a nice job with them.

Other cards in my Goonies collection include:

  Mouth - Corey Feldman

2007 Upper Deck Spectrum Baseball 

Spectrum of Stars Autographs

Data - Ke Huy Quan

Indiana Jones Heritage

Autographs

Other autographs from Goonies folks include:

• Steven Spielberg (executive producer, story writer) has autographs in a couple each of Topps' three latest Indiana Jones set including one triple autograph that features him, George Lucas and Harrison Ford.
• Robert Davi (one of the Fratelli brothers), who has appeared in a couple of James Bond sets and one from Stargate: Atlantis Season One.
• Joe Pantoliano (Davi's on-screen brother), whose Daredevil autograph is the rarest pack-inserted card in the set (1:2802 packs) and its value rivals that of Ben Affleck's autograph.

 

Even though The Goonies got the trading card treatment back in 1985, I think it's prime for a revisiting, complete with all the bells and whistles of a modern set. Unfortunately two of the most memorable characters wouldn't be able to sign cards as they passed away within a few years of the film's release. Anne Ramsey, who played Mama Fratelli died in 1988. Less than a year later John Matuszak, who starred as Sloth, died allegedly from complications related to steroid use.